Females, pleasure yourself for Valentine's.

It’s no secret that I’m convinced a sexually balanced person is a better person. No matter if you’re in a closed relationship, going wild or preferring solo action, - pleasure is possible. Always. Here are some thoughts on why you should use Valentine’s day to read my post with the sole purpose of treating yourself right. Let’s dive into it…



Pleasure is a very wide word.

It’s a mental state we for ourselves have identified as positive. Emotionally, it could be expressed as being contempt, happy, entertained, ecstatic or euphoric. I myself find it pleasurable to have a good cup of Japanese green tea, a hot bath or stare at a pink sky slowly turning into soft orange. There are many ways how we can use all our senses, like smelling, seeing, tasting, hearing and touching, to engage with experiences.


Pleasure yourself for Valentine’s Day.

In its commercial meaning in the year of 2019, Valentine’s to me is no more than the day of consumerism. Just as much as Black Friday and Xmas. There are better ways on using the symbolic value of Valentine’s. Treat yourself.

As said before, pleasure can come from different situations and experiences we for ourselves find positive. That has nothing to do with pleasure of others. I find good breakfast more pleasurable than great dinner. And I’m a visual and scent person, more than enjoying haptic feelings. So consider what’s bringing you joy without consumption. Could it be a good bath, going to the sauna, an even of reading your favourite book or baking yourself a majestic cake? Think about the small things in life. The micro-experiences full of joy. And the same counts for couples. I personally value an experience much more than a physical gift. If someone showed me they have listened to what I find nice, I get much more excited than from a present. But that’s just me. Let’s talk about the stuff you’re actually here for.

You and me are going to explore sensual pleasure.

Yeah that’s right. Sensual pleasure and intimacy is another symbolic meaning of Valentine’s. And to make it a good one, here are my thoughts on how you can think of sensual pleasure.

First of all, know yourself.

Let’s get to the juicy stuff. If you don’t know how to touch yourself, you won’t be able to trigger yourself. An easy equation. And if you don’t know how to touch yourself, you won’t be able to communicate to another being how to trigger you. Another easy equation. There are many ways how to feel sensual pleasure. Clitoral stimulation, intercourse with others, vibrating vibes. There are plenty of opportunities out there for you.

Until this year, there have been vast amounts of scientific studies about female pleasure and the female orgasm. There is no one size fits all. I think the female pleasure is just as diverse as our appearances and the human race, hah!

Much research is on the characteristics and relevance of the clitoris itself. Some research formulates frameworks on what kind of touch can be experienced as pleasurable by females.


Think about the following, when touching yourself or letting someone touch you:

The ultimate 4 dimensions:

  • location of the touch,

  • the used pressure,

  • the shape or style of the motion and

  • the patterns of the motion(s).

Did this inspire you? When I compiled this list for the first time, I felt incredibly enlightened. Read them through again and think about this:

Do you like touching in a rhythmic motion? Where? Is is a motion that circles around the clitoris? Or over the clitoris? Do you prefer little or much switching between different patterns? Or is it switching between intense and less intense motions? Do you play and make the pleasure last longer by slowing down? Or is what you need a quick and dirty coming to the point?

I hope I got you all fired up. Thank me later.

If these words didn’t really help, below is a video of a yoni massage for all of those who are more visual and need some sort of inspiration.


Learn from this video.

Disclaimer: The following video is posted on an adult website that in many cases does not align with my feminist values. Ignore all the provoking stuff on the website. This video is showing real people and real touch. I recommend to give yourself some time and (mental) space to watch it. Are you ready?

This video is an ultimate yoni massage guide.



for the yoni massage video

For Valentine’s Day, ladies, treat yourself right. You don’t need to buy any tools and don’t need to have anyone else. Just pleasure yourself.

Other resources.

I’ve earlier written about Feminist porn and other platforms. Check out my blog post about educational tools as well as the no. one website to check out feminist porn here.

Have a lovely Valentine’s and leave some feedback or things I should learn too! xx, K


Disclaimer: This blog post is addressing all people with female reproductive organs. Many of my readers are females and since I have a vajayjay myself, I’ve chosen to focus on this beauty. I did not intend to forget about people with other reproductive organs, - I’m just not an expert on those!